I came to repentance in 1995, tearfully asking for help from the very God I had been ignoring all those years.
I was Channel Surfing TV than actually watching anything. I stopped on a program because the man looked like my Grandpa Bryan. This man on TV was a preacher sitting behind a wooden desk with the American flag behind it. There was a small statue of an eagle on the desk along with some other things and his big old Bible. His voice was calm, his demeanor firm, and the words weren't what I was expecting from a preacher. I continued to listen to him.
I was listening to every word out of this preacher's mouth as if he was in the room speaking directly to me! I was embarrassed and ashamed as my was life laid open before "God and Everyone". I prayed for the first time ever, asking for salvation, asking Jesus to come into my life and forgive me my sins. By this time I was bawling! I was a mess! My life was at a dead end until that day.
I had no idea...
I cried and confessed and asked several times to be forgiven that afternoon. I was bewildered when I realized I had been Satan's plaything for all those years! I became disgusted at my behavior back in those days! It's as if it were another person who did all those bad things. Oh, and the joy of knowing salvation had me floating on air for days to come! And I confessed and cried for a few more days after that! I had a lot of sinning to fess up to and it wasn't easy. My heart had been opened and the process of cleaning began.
The Holy Spirit got a foot hold in me that day and my journey began. Realizing our sinful nature is only the beginning. There is a whole lot of learning that follows. Each beginning will be different for other folks - not everyone needs to hit rock bottom, like me, in order to have their eyes opened.
So many have gone before us! There is nothing new under the sun, it's just that our eyes get opened and we see more clearly than before. Our Father is continually refining us, as the day He gathered His People and led them out of Egypt. He continues with each test he put before us in our individual lives today. It is a wonderful feeling knowing our Messiah! I love this path that I am on, that we are on.
